Stepping Out

It is super scary to step out of hiding. I picture myself standing just inside a cave, where the light is seeping in. Freedom is just on the other side, and nothing is stopping me from leaving, except for myself.

Wave after wave of “what if’s” come crashing into the opening of the cave and I close my eyes and hold my breath. Dozens of ideas come through me, and I file them away in a folder in my phone list, no good. Already having made myself vulnerable in my previous posts, I realize that now it’s time to make that leap, find my focus…but fear holds me down. It keeps me inside where it’s safe.

Fear is supposed to make us grow, but the only way it succeeds in doing so, is if we face it. How can I ask my children to be brave and do difficult things when I cower and let fear hold me back from some of the simplest of tasks.

Fear has kept me from publicly sharing a photo of me and the person I hold most dearly.

Our relationship, our identities, the family we’ve built, the values we hold; these are all things for which I am so thankful and proud. My wife and I rarely get pictures together aside from a selfie, and we haven’t yet had that dreamy couple photog session. My mom snapped this picture of us and it just captured the pure happiness and love that any couple would love to rush to Facebook and gush over. Before I could even figure out the perfect words to go along with it for a post, I deleted it. Before I even hit publish I already had critics and disapproving voices in my head. This is the same thing that happens every time I begin to see a plan come into focus for this blog. I know what I want to say but I’m scared.

Two things are being accomplished here.

First, I’m publishing this totally gorgeous picture of us because, I love it. And because worrying about the what if’s really scare me, but I gotta dip my toe in the water sometime. My first step out of my comfortable cave is to put up this photo.

Second, I’m ready to make the leap. Topics will vary but be based around my little large family, and can include many things ranging all the way from recipes and paint projects to parenting advice, being gay (cause that’s what I am 🤷🏻‍♀️), and everything in between.

This is me, one step closer to freedom.

Published by

Jess Perry

Ready to spread my wings and soar! Life is great with my amazing wife, 3 children, 2 nephews and 3 pups. I am imperfect, I find a flaw in myself every day, I am human. I'm striving to change that.

9 thoughts on “Stepping Out”

  1. I love this. And don’t ever be afraid to show your love for her. Y’all are super good together and you can see the happiness in your eyes. Not everyone agrees with us in the lgbt 🏳️‍🌈 community but not everyone has to live with it so don’t pay attention to their opinions. Keep doing you and be happy. Love and miss ya

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully said Jess!! All of us live with fears…fears of the unknown, fears of failure, fears of rejection and fears of proving everyone right that said we couldn’t/shouldn’t. We are all in this fearful cave together 😘 I am excited to follow this journey of yours and look forward to your next blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this so much..be you! Who cares what people think. Are you happy? Are you beinging you? And is your family happy and healthy? If the answer is yes then smile and know you are doing life right girl!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amazing post! I’ve been out for over 12 years and I live in California, which essentially means I don’t even have to think about my sexual orientation. I forgot what it felt like to be in the “cave”. I’m sooo happy you shared this perspective, it is much needed and a little reminder to us “old-timers” that different experiences exist and are valid. Thank you and keep the posts coming.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So happy you found your true love. You both are a beautiful people and definitely deserve each other. This is your time, your moment, your chapters, and I can’t wait to hear more of your journey. 💜

    Like

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