Beginning at the End -and- Healing Well in the Age of Positive Thinking

A word:

This is not the first time I’ve decided to try and start a blog. Many times I’ve wanted to put myself out there before I even knew what I had to say, and I can tell you that is probably the reason that almost none of those blogs saw the light of day, or lived beyond the first post.

The idea for this new blog started as something else entirely, and has been tumbling around in my head for a little while. As it has developed I have begun to really believe that it could be something important for me to do. Possibly in service to others, but definitely in service to myself. This is a journey of self-discovery. A journey of healing from the beginning to the end. A journey of learning to truly forgive, let go, and move forward. A journey that I hope will inspire others, but if the only person inspired is myself, I will feel the success. I have a tendency to overthink and over analyze what needs to happen and how it should progress, but this is something that came to me organically, so I am just going to go where my mind takes me. And although the beginning may feel heavy, a risky place to start, it feels like the right place. I can’t say where things with this blog will travel, or end up, but where it needs to begin is here, at the end.

And with that intro, I give you my first post:

Healing Well in the Age of Positive Thinking

What you think is what will be. Think positively and you will have good things. Negative thoughts bring a negative life. You are what you believe… sound familiar?

We are deep in the age of social media gurus; and a lot of those people tout the same message, it spreads like wildfire across your timeline. Think positively. Don’t be negative. Now, before you get the wrong idea, let me say that these messages in and of themselves are not inherently bad; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with thinking positively. But the spread of the positive living message has led to the way of thinking that people who do not remain positive at all times, about every situation, are bad, or should not deserve our pity because if they would just be positive, then they would not be in that situation. We tend to turn away from them, when the very negative things they may think or say are the cry for help that should be bringing us closer into them. We tell them to just think positively, everything will work out. But there are times when things don’t work out, and on top of the frustrations of that happening, they begin to feel ashamed that they can’t just think positively about it. Furthermore, there are scars from the past that keep some people from being about to feel positive. Scars that sometimes don’t reveal themselves until something obscure happens. In these times they may begin to feel powerless to “fix” their minds and heal, because the thing that everyone says, “think positively,” is not working for them. The message of positive thinking has its merits, but there are times when that is not the all curing answer. (This is not to even begin to broach the subjects of children born with illness, unborn babies, people getting a cancer diagnoses, etc. That is a whole other branch of this topic, which I may find a loop around to at a later date.)

Bad things happen to people. I guarantee someone you know, and probably think you know well, has a story. A big, hidden story. They have tried to patch themselves up the best they can, they have tried to go with the mantra of thinking positively, everything happens for a reason, and the temporary patch works. Temporarily. Life goes along and more things happen, cracking those patches, and then more patches are layered over again and again until one day, there is no patch that can contain the things that have been covered up, they must be dealt with. Now these eruptions do not always open up and exclaim, “here I am, the trauma you endured 20 years ago that you covered up, I’m here, deal with me!” When they erupt it’s more like in the form of something small hurting us and causing us to feel unrelated emotions. We project what we should have felt then, on the situation in front of us now. And to the naked eye, it’s easy to believe, well if we just think positively or be positive about it, it will be okay. However now we are confronting these negative emotions that we don’t understand where they came from, and the fact that thinking positively is just not working for us. It becomes to much to bear.

I’ll close today by saying that I don’t discount the idea of the power of positive thinking altogether. There are indeed times when positive thinking plays a significant role in an outcome. I am just against the notion that it is the cure all. I plan to spend some time in this forum, opening up about personal traumas that have followed me through to adulthood and the things that have caused me to not be able to heal properly. It is my hope that these open journals will help me to heal and move forward, while also encouraging thought, discussion and possibly healing in others. About this endeavor I will think positively.

Published by

Jess Perry

Ready to spread my wings and soar! Life is great with my amazing wife, 3 children, 2 nephews and 3 pups. I am imperfect, I find a flaw in myself every day, I am human. I'm striving to change that.

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